GLOCCOVNAA is an abbreviation for 'Great Life of Conflict, Climax or Virtually Nothing At All'. That was the long and ridiculous name I came out for my blog when I was 18 years old. Do click on the colourful icons on the right to check out different types of posts in this blog.

06 June, 2007

Entry To Hell: The Wait for the Coming Disaster

It has been seven posts for the Entry To Hell series in conjuction with my feelings and views within the two weeks of Diagnostic Test in my school set by the Government of Malaysia.

In the mean time, I do not want to elaborate so much about my views of religion, environment, academic or silly laws we students made in school. I just want to contemplate on what I have done and what I have experienced in the last two weeks. This Diagnostic Test may only lasted eleven school days or sixteen days, but if I include the studies I did before, I think I may be able to make a book out of all the post.

I will continue this Entry To Hell with a one way ticket to Heaven, in this case, to be happy with a big laugh. Please enjoy my few jokes.

1. A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

2. Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."

So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

3. On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

"How much for a season pass?"

4. What is defference between man and Superman?
Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

5. Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

6. What is green and smells?
Hulk's fart.

7. How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

8. Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.

9. This is the Recipe to Cook Turkey:
- Go buy a turkey
- Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) OR JD
- Put turkey in the oven
- Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
- Set the degree at 375 ovens
- Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
- Turn oven the on
- Take 4 whisks of drinky
- Turk the bastey
- Whiskey another bottle of get
- Stick a turkey in the thermometer
- Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
- Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
- Take the oven out of the turkey
- Take the oven out of the turkey
- Floor the turkey up off of the pick
- Turk the carvey
- Get yourself another scottle of botch
- Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
- Bless the saying, pass and eat out

10. There was once a hillbilly (silly man) who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.

Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and make fun of me."

He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini."

Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you a hillbilly?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you a hillbilly or not?"

This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?"

The shopkeeper replied, "This is a hardware store!"

That's all Folks, I hope you enjoyed the ten funny jokes I have given to you as a 'by the way' post for Entry To Hell. Remember this, Entry To Hell is just a matter of opinion at that time I gave the name, do not think of doing anything that does not follow the teachings of your religion. According to my religion, Buddhism, there are eight cold Narakas (hells) and eight hot Narakas, be wise not to go to either one of them. Sorry about the short religion thing again. Just be strong in judging the right from wrong and live your life to the fullest.

lalanandaFRY 
19/5/07

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